Cancer (June 21-July 22)
You water signs are nothing if not totally yourselves. You get into the most trouble when you try to conform to other people’s expectations, simply because you’re fluid enough to effortlessly flow into the molds they’ve created for you—temporarily. That same dynamism makes staying within the lines your parents, friends, and lovers have drawn practically impossible. Resist assuming the shape or adopting the timetable someone wants you to take on. It’ll just lead to confusion, disappointment and strife when you seep, evaporate or expand beyond its borders. Tell them you’re a precocious late bloomer and you need to approach tasks in your own way and time. Be clear: They can accept that, or get out of your way.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Astrological forces are conspiring to make you crazy attractive. You’ll attract loads of loving attention, of varying types and intensities, without even trying. It’s not that the coming months will be drab and tedious by comparison; it just might not be quite this special.. Enjoy it while it lasts. Above all, please don’t play the pleasure-deferring games you sometimes get mixed up in, because at least some of the current pleasantness is definitely of the now-or-never variety. Grab it, or give it up.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Bees communicate by dancing, and so should Virgos. You talk too much, you think too much, you do too much. I’m not foolhardy enough to advise you to chill out and lay around; you’d never do it, unless someone huge sat on you and made you do it. You’ve got too much energy to burn. But give your brain a break, OK? My advice for this week is so simple it’s ridiculous: dance. Dance until your arches fall, your clothes are soaked, and you can’t stop smiling. Doesn’t matter where or how or with whom. I guarantee you’ll have a better idea, when you’re finished, of exactly where the honey is.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Some complain that Librans lack stick-to-it-iveness. It’s not that you don’t have the strength or discipline to see something through to the end, it’s that you sometimes don’t care enough to bother. That’s not necessarily a critique; you move on well. But occasionally you need to stand your ground and stick something out, even if it’s unpleasant, or you’re lured by (supposedly) better things, or even if you believe the venture is doomed. Plant your heels. Ignore the carrots and sticks goading you toward new territory. Right here’s where you’re supposed to be, so stay.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You wear intensity like a mink coat on a sultry midsummer afternoon. You wish you could step out of it sometimes, but it’s no use trying; there are more layers of fur coats under there. The heat, isn’t external; it’s coming from within, and there’s no off switch. For good or ill, you’re not the only one feeling the burn; you’re just the only one who can’t decide whether or not you want to sweat it out. Whether you desire company in this emotional sauna is your decision; if you do, now’s the time to sweeten the deal — start buying ice cream and air conditioners like there’s no tomorrow, and whoever you want to stick around might.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Cut up your metaphorical credit cards. Living in material debt is one thing, especially because you’ve mostly accumulated it acquiring experiences, not possessions. But spiritual debt is another story, and it’s not healthy to let it build up or stick around long. Before you know it, it’ll be holding you back on so many levels it won’t matter where you go, how much money you spend, or even who you sleep with. You know what you need to do. Make things right. Remember—this isn’t the kind of debt you simply pay off. It’s the kind of debt you transcend.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Hate is hate and love is love. Embrace the latter. They both breed themselves, so think about which you want to see more of in the world. Love is an action, not just a feeling, and there are few better at taking disciplined, thoughtful action than you Caps. Lead by example and show what it means to practice compassion and love. Let it infuse everything you do—your work especially. Even if you’re not a natural born leader, you usually find yourself with a significant degree of influence. Wield it to create more of the stuff that matters—not money, but love.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Some things should stay in the realm of fantasy. Living in a gingerbread house or coating your lover in hot fudge; these are actually more likely to be gross than appealing. Many of your other sexual and emotional desires are equally unappetizing when removed from the fuzzy confines of your imagination. In there, it’s easy to edit certain details out, fast forward through slow or clumsy sections, and linger on the good stuff. Unless you’re on exactly the right drugs, reality doesn’t usually work that way, though. Remember that this week, when the opportunity to actualize a fantasy of yours manifests. Will it translate, or deteriorate? Might it keep better in your head, where you can savor it for years?
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Sometimes you want a dog collar to wear, and someone to hold the leash. It’s not because you’re especially kinky (although you are, admit it). You just often long for someone to take care of you, to absolve you of all responsibility. If you’re unlucky enough to be exceptionally good-looking or talented, someone might actually play this role for you—until you’re about 25, at which point they’d probably leave you high and dry with virtually no real-life coping skills and hardly any actual friends. Resist donning the collar this week, or ever again (except for an occasional evening’s bedroom experiment). It’s a harsh truth, but it’s better you accept (and cope with) it sooner, rather than later: you might have allies in this life, but mostly, you’re on your own.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Stock your freezer with bags and bags of frozen peas. You’ll need them for all the bruises, black eyes and assorted other injuries you’re sure to acquire this month. And that’s good news. Remember, collecting minor wounds is apparently what passes for fun in your world lately, filled with rough and tumble sports, crazy-ass sex, and juvenile horseplay. You can take it. In fact, it’s downright good for you; considering who you are and what you’re capable of, if you’re not playing rough enough to hurt yourself (just a little) right now, you’re not really living your life.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Be careful whose fingernails you let scrape across your skin this week. There’s only so many scratches you can blame on the cat, and when the marks run across your back even that excuse doesn’t fly. I hear you telling me: “But I’m not breaking any rules.” Maybe not technically, but I’m guessing there are a few unwritten rules whose lines you’re crossing. Maybe it’s time you expanded beyond those boundaries—it could be that they’re just too limiting. But don’t you think it’d be better to do it on the up-and-up, with everyone’s knowledge (and perhaps, if you’re lucky, blessing)?
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
You’re goofy, quirky, friendly, unique, eminently likable, creative, funny, talkative… But sometimes people have trouble taking you seriously. This can extend to imagining a serious relationship with you, or just trusting you with their innermost feelings, or similarly intimate things. Of course, you and I both know you’re up for this kind of heavier stuff as well. It’s not even that those denying you think you’re unworthy. They simply assume you’re uninterested. They’re wrong, of course, but how to show it? Figuring out that dilemma is—you guessed it—this week’s assignment.
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