Aries (March 21-April 19)
Explore your dark side. You’re often quite eager to be the perpetual kid, always happy and playful and silly. But you have dark depths and slightly scary hungers that you rarely, if ever, explore. Don’t shy away from them now. That’s a source of your power — denying it can only damage your health and vitality in the long run. Take precautions so you don’t screw yourself up, but explore that dark and kinky stuff. Remember there’s a difference between being careful and just being scared. Be as careful as you ought to be, but don’t let fear keep you from really getting down to what’s what.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
In the window of the hair and nail salon, seven glittering ceramic hands claw the air. Grotesque talons decorated with beads, sparkles, hoops and chains, in every color seen on television, promise all the allure of the classless upper class, the idle, the reposed. The receptionist has such lengthy, curled nails on her fingers that she can barely pick up the phone. This reminds me of your current predicament. In your effort to show off or display some useless aspect of yourself, you’ve severely handicapped your ability to do things. May I suggest some metaphorical nail clippers? The distorted and narrow beauty you may lose will be far outweighed by the healthy and balanced gorgeousness that will emerge in its place.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Love and/or money are apt to come from out of the way places this week, odd locations and situations where you’d never guess a potential new business partner or lover might lurk. Cast your line into waterfalls and eddies where you’ve never been. One word of caution: this is all cool and exciting, but be careful not to push it. You’re also likely to meet a handful of seemingly interesting prospects who’ll amount to nothing important in your life. In other words, don’t enthuse too much about the first nibble you get on whatever you put out there. It could be the big fish, or it could just be the beginning of a good day of fishing.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Crabs like to edge around things. Their preferred movement is from side to side. Scuttling quickly to the left or right is a smart way to avoid conflict, to see things differently than the rest of the human race, and to make yourself hard to pin down. For one week, though, would you consider a direct approach? This week demands that you charge full speed ahead, and leap with all your faith and strength. It’s the only way you’ll clear the vast philosophical chasm ahead of you, and reach the — perhaps life-changing, perhaps merely very interesting — revelation that lies on the other side. Or if you can’t break your sidling habit, you can continue to linger in the dubious safety of doubt. Your choice.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Your majesty! Last week you received news that the barbarians succeeded in capturing the last stronghold outside the imperial palace and the first of their arrows had begun to clatter against its stone walls. Just as you were squashing the rebellion, another surprise attack threw you off-kilter. Leos are not fond of unpleasant surprises, or attacks on their personal territory, which can include people. To console you in your bitterness, I call into effect the Law of Balances. The offensive news of last week will be tempered by some equally good news this week, like the discovery in the palace cellar of an ancient and magical weapon that promises to keep your enemies at bay for some time to come.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Modern fertility drugs have made instances of twins — and triplets, octuplets, etc. — much more common than ever before. Imagine being gifted with six more babies than you’d planned for. Even with your phenomenal skills at balancing, cooperation and juggling, dealing with that many new responsibilities is way more than you can handle right now. Fortunately, you have an option most parents of septuplets don’t consider: choosing which of your new burdens you’ll actually take care of. If you absolutely can’t make up your mind — They’re all so cute and promising! — at least follow the examples of new parents: Get help.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
I picture you as uncharacteristically moony, ogling yourself in the mirror for long, vain moments, or, more likely, staring dreamily into the doe-like eyes of your current crush. Lest you sink forever into a pit of mushy sentimentality, consider this: Remember when you used to completely trash anyone who acted this silly and gaga? Well, payback’s a bitch, sweetie. For your evil ridicule, you’ll suffer. But you’ll also discover, to your probable surprise and delight, how completely ineffective derision is to one in your situation. So enjoy your karmic retribution. On every level it comes to you.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
It’s full-on spring, and that means spring cleaning … of your life, not necessarily your apartment. If there’s someone who needs to be cut off — and there is — do it now, and don’t look back. It sounds harsh, but a clean break with a bad influence is ultimately a good thing, especially when your alternatives are messy loose ends, muddled conclusions, and exhausting ongoing negativity. Don’t shy away from doing what’s necessary. The situation’s come to this choice: leave your “victim” a soft heart with one long, clean scar, or one toughened and calloused from a myriad of smaller hurts. And by the way, don’t get high-and-mighty about this; I never said the bad influence was the other guy.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Unlike the other two fire signs, Sagittarians tend to avoid positions of authority. Being of a non-hierarchical nature, members of your tribe are happy to coordinate an activity, lead an expedition or direct a valuable import business, as long as it’s reasonable and practical for them to do so. Should someone more enthusiastic or capable come along, Sags are only too happy — nay, relieved — to yield the responsibility. While I applaud your lack of hubris, you must admit: you are sometimes too eager to deliver up the burden of your responsibilities. Can you hold onto this one for a while, since it promises a doorway to a greater freedom than you’ve known in at least a year?
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
It’s springtime. Have a fling. Or make your familiar love feel like a fling, by setting it in new locales, situations, or simply consciously deepening the emotional connection. Shifting things around can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be, because it’s all in the name of bigger life, bigger love. That means that your lover might become your friend, or a friend might become a lover. Relish the metamorphoses instead of fearing them. Change comes no matter what you do; at least here you have a really good chance of making it all positive, unusual, and exciting.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
You’re a sleek, road-hugging race-car, your powerful engine thrumming in neutral as you prepare for your forceful sprint to the finish line. Or perhaps that rumble is the deep, quiet growl of you as cheetah, your lean, muscled body lying low to the ground just at the moment you spot your prey. This is a good week to slowly creep into the best possible position, muscles bunched and tensed, patiently awaiting the right moment to spring into the rapid pursuit that could mean life or death for someone. Have a care, though; this week doesn’t promise victory, only a wild and exhilarating chase.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
According to my Vibe-o-meter, your readings register as curiously pure, more like the innocent, radiant quality of a young kid than a full-grown adult. You’re dangerously free of cynicism, bitterness, or sarcasm. I say dangerously free, because trusting as a child in the garden of Eden trusts, while living in the wilder jungle of real life, can be a sketchy practice. I’m not worried about you, though. You’re tough. What are you going to do, though, with this abundance of goodwill and energy? There are a lot of people who are worse off than you; consider them. Could now be the time to actually do something to help another person out in some significant and long-term way?
