Girl Talk: Prepare to deflect the Thanksgiving questioning squad
The holiday season is upon us. It’s the time of year where we take a step back from life and look at all we have and appreciate all we are grateful for. It’s a time for dinners with family and friends. All too often, those dinners will turn into the Spanish inquisition by some relatives. Generally, the question most commonly asked is “what are you most thankful for?” We all know too well that depending where you are in life, the questions never stop there. I normally remedy the lines of questioning with a few glasses of wine and sarcasm. If you would rather be prepared and avoid finding yourself more sauced than a cranberry, my best advice is to go in expecting the questions and be ready with answers.
As a single girl, my relative’s favorite question to ask: “When are you going to find yourself a nice boy?”
What a novel idea.
As if it wasn’t something I was working on, I couldn’t tell my grandmother that Walmart wasn’t advertising nice boys in its Black Friday circular. Trying to remain respectful, I would often deflect the question with an “I’ll let you know” or suggest that maybe by Christmas the pickings will be better. I had found lots of not nice boys, but I am fairly certain that no one wanted to have naughty boy talk as a side dish to their pumpkin pie. I would always joke it off and move on, but I found the safest way to avoid this inevitable conversation was to sit in the living room with the guys and watch football. I could always bank on the fact that my dad, and other male relatives, could care less who I was dating or whether I’d find a nice boy as long as I wasn’t blocking the TV screen.
Flash forward a few Thanksgivings and low and behold, I have found a nice boy. The conversation changed. Instead of talking about the nice boy search, the new favorite discussion is marriage. “When are you two going to settle down and get married? Melissa, you’re not getting any younger.”
For a while, my saving grace was having older cousins and a sibling who were also in long term relationships. Now that they are all married or engaged, I am back in the spotlight. Thankfully, my boyfriend has come to expect the questions and takes it with a grain of salt. We can deflect together (and by that I mean tell my relatives they should ask him what he is waiting for). As the years have dragged on, I have asked him similar questions, but I know our time will come.
I know the questions will not stop there. The aforementioned married cousins and sibling now have to deal with the “when are you having a baby” questions. So I suppose that I have that to look forward to. It’s nice to not be the only one reminded about my age. They have all made it abundantly clear that children are not on the horizon and they simply aren’t baby people, but I am convinced that my relatives believe that if they continue to grill them about it, they will eventually change their minds. I will have to get back to you on that outcome, but I am fairly certain their minds are made up.
I know my relatives mean well, but I think the best way to get through the questioning is to respond that I am letting life happen. So toast your glasses, carve your turkey and start swimming in mashed potatoes. It is the time of year to appreciate all of the great things in your life and look forward to the things to come.
If my boyfriend is reading this, one more question: When are we going to settle down and get married?
Just prepping you for Thursday.
I swear …
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live and WBRE.