Advice from Melissa: He says he’s changed, but I just don’t know
My friend started dating a guy with a really shady past. He served time in prison but has since reformed and tried starting his life over. I respect his attempts to try living a normal life, but I still can’t get comfortable having him around because of his past. I don’t know how to talk to my friend about this. How can I bring it up to her?
Honesty is the best policy. I think you should be upfront with your friend about the way you feel. You can let her know that you’re happy for her as long as she’s happy and that you respect him for trying to stay out of trouble but you are just not fully comfortable yet. Perhaps you can try doing things as a group in public where you might feel more comfortable instead of having him as a guest in your home. Give him a chance to prove that people are capable of change. It’s never fair to judge someone based on their past but it’s also naïve to think that everyone who wants to change is able to. Let your guard down slowly and let your friend know where you stand — that you support her but you have to be honest with yourself as well.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, and a radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.