Advice from Melissa: My friend is a relationship addict. How do I help her?
I am writing you today because I am concerned for my best friend. I think she is a relationship addict. She is constantly going from one long-term relationship to another and is never giving herself any alone time in between. We were talking about it one day and she said “I haven’t been single since I was 14.” We are in our 30s! I am concerned she isn’t leaving herself any time or space to find herself and that she will never take that moment to breathe before she is onto the next one. I think it is healthy to have some alone time in your adult life to find yourself. If she is happy then I am happy, I just worry she will never take the time to find herself.
I can absolutely understand and appreciate your concern for your friend. It seems like she may have a touch of codependency issues. She doesn’t feel complete in her life unless she finds her value in someone else’s eyes. Try talking to her about it. If she is just getting into relationships just to be in relationships and they are not a good fit or are not healthy for her, you might need to be the one to just say stop. Show her that she is an amazing person on her own without the validation of a man and once she is able to create her own happiness without it coming from someone else, at that time she will be ready to look for something that will really be lasting.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, and a radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.