Last summer, celebrity men started a new trend that swept the media headlines. George Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio were rocking the dad bod and it was OK. Some women even found it sexy and attractive that today’s man was so comfortable in his own body that they are able to just put it out there free of judgment.
The mom bod however, was a trend that never was OK. Why does this double standard exist? Does motherhood mean the end of sexy and the start of shapeless jeans and floral print blouses? Why are we ashamed of our mom bods?
For me, it was like the shot heard around the world. “You look great, for a mom” why did they need a qualifier? Have I really gotten to the point in my life where I have started rocking the “mom bod?”
I looked at myself in the mirror for a moment. Surely, since turning 30 I have started to dress more conservatively, but I still was always able to still maintain parts of “pre-motherhood” Melissa. Whether it was sequins that were a bit too loud, heels that were a bit too high or skirts that were a bit too short, there was always a part of me that still felt sexy.
Here I am, in this mirror.
Who is the girl looking back and where did she come from?
I look tired.
My hair is in a ponytail, I am wearing comfortable shoes, a loose T-shirt and Bermuda shorts. Granted, I was just planning on hanging out at home and running a few errands, but seeing an old high school friend who said I “looked great for a mom” reminded me of who I once had been. It was a core shaker.
I am a mom and that’s OK.
What I don’t want is to become one of those mothers who gives in to the dark side of function over fashion. I am her right now; pony tail, flats and all.
How did Stella get her groove back?
I think it has a lot to do with having confidence in who you are. Motherhood changes you physically. There is no denying the stretch marks, saggy skin, bags under the eyes and cellulite that seems to have appeared everywhere overnight. Right now it feels like no one really cares about how I look. So, why should I? I am just another mom.
I need a mental reset. I want to look in the mirror with confidence, not carelessness.
I started asking around to my other mom friends. They agree that most days when it comes to their fashion choices, they just throw on what is convenient so they can all get through the day. None of them are too concerned with getting sexy back, I don’t want to be like that.
Until the mom bod starts becoming a trend I am making a mental note that things need to change. I love being a mother, but I don’t need to let myself go to be one. I need to unslump myself and find my inner glitter.
Motherhood didn’t kill her.
Turning 30 didn’t kill her.
It’s time to dig her out and dust her off.
To all of my fellow moms out there, try to remember who you used to be. Maybe we should change the conversation about the mom bod. Being a mom doesn’t have to mean stretch pants and mini vans. It means that your body can do amazing things, like create a life. Let’s stop hiding and be proud to show off our bods.
You are capable, extraordinary, sexy and strong. Own it and rock your mom bod, just don’t forget the occasional sequin.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, and a radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.