Girl Talk: Growing pains

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Melissa Hughes

From youth years to teen years, adolescence to adulthood, we grow every day into the person that we are destined to become. Looking back to the very first things you loved, whether it was a toy, a pet, a cartoon or a best friend, you should ask yourself: are any of those things still around?

The only constant force in life is change. This may sound like a contradiction — that change is the only dependable constant— but, looking back on my own life, my Cabbage Patch Doll, Brenda, my cat, Snowflake, my best friend, Karen, are all long gone. “Fraggle Rock” is now vintage and My Little Pony now looks like teen girls with miniskirts and training bras (what has happened in the land of Equestria?!)

If I can see the change in the world around me as I grow, why is it so hard to accept the changes occurring inside of me as I have grown? Friends who I once shared everything with and could laugh on the phone with for hours are practically strangers now. We have grown apart and have nothing in common these days. While it is nice to get together once in a while and talk about the times gone by and the great memories of the past, very few friendships stretch into lasting adult friendships because our lives and interests have grown in so many different directions. You feel bad for “outgrowing” them, but such is the circle of life.

This line of thinking can be applied to relationships as well. There is nothing as magical as the honeymoon days. Eventually, when the glitter all falls off and you’re left with the dull under layer, do you and your mate have anything in common other than your love for a favorite TV show or sports team? Are the things that brought you together still there? Are those things strong enough to hold your relationship together or have you grown out of your relationship that you find yourself looking at your mate asking what you ever saw in him to begin with?

It is important to grow together, but be honest with yourself if that is not happening. If you find yourself looking at the person you once loved and you feel like total strangers, chances are the things that once held you together are no longer there. High school sweethearts, while romantic, rarely exist anymore. You have not yet begun to grow as a person, so when you each figure out who the other is, do you like the end result or have you settled out of comfort?

It is OK to grow with the changes. As the seasons around us change from winter to spring, summer to fall, take in a deep breath and allow yourself to grow up and grow out to your full potential. Never settle and never fear the change. In the end, everything works out the way it is supposed to.