By Caeriel Crestin | For Weekender

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

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    Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

    Where are the kids? You’re sorely in need of some playful, innocent fun, so hanging with your nieces and nephews or any other of the sweet little rugrats in your life would be a fantastic way to spend your week. It would help you remember to smile a lot more, to practice more patience and kindness, and to simply relax and be silly—these are things you’ve sort of forgotten, of late. Even just hanging out by a playground (as creepy as that sounds, it doesn’t have to be evil-intentioned) could help you remember what you need to remember.

    Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

    Supposedly, since you’re the last sign in the zodiac wheel, you’ve gone through all the other signs on your way to where you are. You’ve been there and done that. But I’m here to remind you, oh wise one: the thing’s a wheel. That means you’re getting ready to jump back into the first sign in the zodiac, Aries, and do the whole thing over. Many Pisceans, in fact, become much more Ram-like in the course of their lives (consequently having a much easier time making decisions!). This week, in preparation for your next chapter, act as much like an Aries as possible: when considering options, always choose the rashest, loudest, boldest, and most outrageous one. You’ll probably wonder why you didn’t start doing that before.

    Aries (March 21-April 19)

    You don’t always understand things or people who derive their power from being rooted, immovable, and solid. Your strength comes from your movement, energy, and drive. But as versatile as you are, there come moments when you really need someone with roots sunk deep, who’s strong because they never change and are reliable and hyper-responsible. When some kind of destructive wave of change sweeps through, your strength might keep you from drowning, but not from being swept away. This, my lovable Ram, is one of those dangerous times. Find the biggest tree (in human form) you can, wrap your arms around it, and hang on with all your might.

    Taurus (April 20-May 20)

    It’s not like the idea you’re trying to push is all that radical. In fact, you know in your gut that its time has come. It’s just the natural next step in a progression that’s been happening for years. Nevertheless, you’re bound to encounter some deep resistance from some staunch advocates of stability who have dug in their heels and refuse to accept inevitable change. The danger is that you might identify with them—having so often advocated tradition, permanence, or just solid core values—so much that you might ease up on them. Don’t. This change will come regardless—but it’ll work out a lot better with you spearheading it.

    Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    Some great qualities skip generations. It’s part of the pendulum swing of rebelling against your parents. That means that in some ways you might have more in common with your grandparents (or at least how they were when they were your age) than your parents. This is why I suggest looking to them for guidance and/or inspiration this week, when you’re uncertain about your next step. Find out what they were like when they were younger, before they were grandparents (or even parents)—by asking them (if they’re still alive), or by plumbing photos and letters (if they’re not). Your answers and motivation lie there.

    Cancer (June 21-July 22)

    The days I can force myself to get up and write first thing—before breakfast, even—are the days I get the most done. I won’t say it’s easy, though, to drag myself out of bed and compel myself to immediately be creative and productive. My natural instinct is to loaf around, eat, and prepare for my day. Pursuing that course, however, sometimes means that it can be an hour or more before I get anything done at all. Use next week’s astrological influences to add a new trick into your repertoire: early morning productivity. Give yourself a block of time—just fifteen minutes, even—before anything else, in which to do something creative, or just get something done. You’ll be psyched at how easy it is to be brilliant and productive the rest of the day, after that.

    Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

    You need more life in your life, more living things around you right now—more companions, more plants, more animals—all with their own agendas and lives that overlap with yours. It’ll help keep you from getting trapped in boring, self-involved, self-destructive patterns, which is all too great a danger at the moment. Most of your worst problems are self-inflicted, and they happen most often when you’re plate is less than full, leaving too much free time to subconsciously come up with ways to sabotage yourself. Go buy an aquarium, or some houseplants, or host dinner parties all week, or find some other way to make your plate feel full.

    Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

    I miss having Virgos in my life. I’ve pretty much always had one or more close by, until my most recent chapter, which has been marked by a deplorable dearth of vivacious Virgos. So what? Sucks for me, but what does it matter? Well, I’m not the only one missing your unique and inspiring vibe. People everywhere are on the hunt for a valuable Virgo. Whether or not you have room in your life for a new friend or chosen family member is up to you. But if you decide that could be kind of nice, they’re out there, looking. Just ask around.

    Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

    This week could be like being able to go on a shopping spree with someone else’s money. That’s a fantasy every Libra can appreciate it, isn’t it? But beware—nothing’s really for free, and the kinds of sacrifices or concessions you’d be forced to make for this dubious privilege might not be worth the glee of so much frivolous spending. The temptation is terrible, I know, and you’re not generally one to look a gift horse in the mouth—but make an exception this time, please. There are strings and more strings attached. Unless you’ve got some kind of bondage fetish, say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

    Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

    What started out as a carefree roll in the hay has suddenly become so much more—and not in a good way. It’s as if the hay were at the top of a steep, rocky hill, and your initially gentle tumble has become a painful, unstoppable plunge down the slope. This week, though, you may have the chance to catch yourself on a ledge or protruding branch. This is your chance to extricate yourself without doing much further injury to either of you. Unfortunately, the temptation to continue this disastrous nose-dive is likely to be perversely greater than ever. Resist, though, Scorpio. For everyone’s sake, find a way to resist.

    Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

    When I need to motivate myself to really clean and reorganize my apartment, I invite people over. Left to my own devices, I get a bit done, then my laziness takes over and I leave the job unfinished. But if I know people are coming by, that’s all the incentive I need to really get the whole place into shape. Follow my lead. You’re in need of a little impetus that you’re unable to provide for yourself. This is not the time to let procrastination or your infamous laidback attitude mess you up. Use whatever tricks you’ve got up your sleeve to get your own ass in gear.

    Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

    Perhaps you’re too preoccupied with other things right now, because all the usual methods of getting you excited and involved with the present moment are frustratingly falling a bit short. Those around you are also at a loss as to how to get your attention. What do we need to do to get you to snap out of it, Cap? This is not only frustrating, it’s ridiculous. Really, what would it take for you to be fully present in the here and now? A mountain of gold? True love? An alien invasion? Whatever it is, you might as well ask for it—most of us are so fed up with your distraction that we just might get it for you.

    By Caeriel Crestin | For Weekender

    To contact Caeriel send mail to [email protected]

    To contact Caeriel send mail to [email protected]