I was sitting at my desk the other morning when my fiance texted me.
“I had a dream it was our wedding,” he said.
Expecting a sweet response, I asked him what the dream was about.
He told me he dreamt that it was the day of our wedding, but we were still in our current stage of planning (which is very minimal), and that no one except him was concerned that we were missing key things like a wedding cake.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
My fiance, Mikey, is the least stressed person I have ever met, so for him to be having a dream like this was just funny to me.
I’ve been having these dreams since we got engaged in July.
I have always been a worrier. Even the smallest situations send me into a frenzy, and Mikey is really good at balancing me out. In the best way possible, he has a very relaxed and carefree personality.
“Whatever happens, happens,” is his mantra. I’m leaning on him to keep me from going crazy during this engagement, so he can’t fall down the path of having ridiculous dreams of an incomplete wedding. That’s my job, after all.
While I have tried to keep my anxieties at bay through this journey, they always seem to creep back in. For example, when we were touring venue and ceremony spaces, every time someone suggested having an outdoor ceremony, I would cringe.
I would spend every day leading up to May 25, 2018, wondering if it would rain, and I can’t have that type of pressure for the wedding.
What would we do?
I often have to be reminded I need to enjoy this journey, and that’s not to say that I’m not. It’s one of the most exciting times of my life, it just also happens to be one of the most stressful. I know how quickly time flies. While 2018 seems like a lifetime away, I’m very aware it will be here before I know it, and that I should spend more time enjoying the ride.
I tend to forget that weddings are a normal part of life, and everything that needs to get done will eventually get done. I’ve turned into a person who likes to stay ahead of the curve, which often leads to setting unrealistic goals for myself and where I should be at various times through this process.
We HAD to have a venue booked by October, I told everyone. Needless to say, that didn’t end up being the case. (November isn’t too shabby though.)
I’m hoping as we get further into planning with our family and friends who have been through this, it will get calmer and at least feel like it’s getting easier.
The saving grace of my anxious tendencies is that Mikey will constantly remind me that I can’t get upset over things out of my control, and then comfort me when I do anyway.
