WILKES-BARRE — Merry Christmas munchkins. It’s Santa substituting for O’Boyle. I’m here this week to announce my very special gifts for some of you Fantasy Football players.
So with a “Ho Ho Ho” and a Merry Christmas to all, here goes:
Bob “Lem” Barney — Peyton Manning to have a comeback year in 2016 because you know Lem will pick him.
Steve “The Doctor” Andrejko — A crystal ball to know when to select Ryan Tannehill and when to drop Jimmy Graham.
Frank “The Colonel” Coughlin — A little luck, and we don’t mean Andrew.
Tom “Muff” Miskin — Russell Wilson to play like this from the first game of the season on so he doesn’t drop him.
Ted Baggett — An uninjured Tony Romo.
Danny Lewis — To bring back his co-owner, Alex.
Justin Hillard — A reason to attend weekly meetings other than Maxie’s chicken wings.
Terry Womelsdorf — For Cam Newton to be the Grand Marshal in the annual Kielbasa Festival Parade.
Dana Miskin — A team of all New York Giants that score and, more importantly, win!
Ricky “Pickles” McDaniels — A bunch of “Monster picks” to assure he finishes ahead of Steve A.
Dave Frace — The Steelers to go to the Super Bowl and win.
Max Blaskiewicz — To stay away from all decision making for his team; just let Dave in charge.
Chuck Peterman Jr. — To forget about Cam Newton next year and stick with his strategy of choosing wide receivers first.
James A. Grinavich — For the Horned Frogs to win a national title and to beat Lunker’s record for pike in Canada.
David “Lunker” Lowery — A dream trip to Ontario with Bobby in the car, in the boat and in the cabin.
Thomas “John” Swartwood — All Eagles on his team, plus Shady McCouy and Jeremy Macklin.
Robert “Zag” Zagorsky — A fantasy golf league, a fantasy cinch league and more vegetables on the table.
Charles “Top Gun” Peterman — Another wing on the cabin, more wood on the fire and a satellite dish.
Chris (Doctor) Kalna — An invite back to cards and to Canada so he can show us how to catch fish.
Justin “The Oracle” Eddy — To finish one time out of the NFFL basement.
Ted “The Jinx” Wampole — To be cast as Peter Pan in those insurance commercials.
Kevin “Whopper” Weiss — To hold the NFFL draft at Burger King.
Scott “The Machine” Christian — A return to glory for the Dallas Cowboys and New York Yankees.
“Devil” Ray Culp — To finish ahead of Bob Katulka.
Bob Katulka — To finish ahead of Ray.
Dave Salus — To have Aaron Rodgers show up for Christmas dinner.
Al Finn — Crown Royal wherever he goes.
Joe Dolinsky — To win one for the news side, justifying that Julio Jones first round pick.
Derek Levarse — For Penn State football to finish in the top 4 in the country.
Andrew Seder — To accept defeat.
Rich Sheposh — To get the credit he deserves for running the league with this group of whiners.
John Erzar — The Ravens to find an offense before next year starts.
Dave Rosengrant — The 49ers to sign Joe Montana, Jerry Rice and Roger Craig.
Mike Harper — For Fantasy Football leagues to give out tee-shirts or hoodies to all members.
John Rosick — A new set of irons.
Amanda Loucks — To work every shift at Grotto.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a great Fantasy Football season!
Reach Bill O’Boyle at 570-991-6118 or on Twitter @TLBillOBoyle.