Communication is a key cornerstone in every successful relationship. Without having proper lines of communication open between you and your partner, simple misunderstandings can lead to giant fights. Feelings can be easily hurt, and hearts will be broken. So, while you are part of a relationship and talk daily to your significant other, are you really communicating?

Effective communication can take time to develop. There are times when you and your partner have different communication styles, and if you get into a deep relationship too quickly, you may not have had time to adjust to your mate’s methods of communicating.

Not all communication styles blend well together. It is imperative for a successful relationship that you find out how the person you are with communicates and then see if it melds wells with your own communication style. Often times, the best relationships can be easily ruined by two people who couldn’t find the right way to tell each other how they feel.

We all fill in our significant other with common pleasantries and updates on our days. That is part of having an open societal relationship. Developing a deeper communicable relationship with your partner often means having to look at those conversations and asking yourself if you could be having them with just anyone or if there is something special, something deeper that applies exclusively to your mate. If there is no real substance in what you are saying to your partner, can you say for certain that your lines of communication are really open?

Not having the ability to effectively tell the person whom you are with how you are feeling can make the happiest relationship turn grey. If you are upset and your partner doesn’t know you well enough to pick up on your nonverbal cues, he or she could end up saying or doing the wrong thing that will lead to a fight or make your companion seem insensitive.

You shouldn’t have to hang a neon sign that says “I’m sad today” for your partner to know how you are feeling. Talk to your significant other. You are supposed to be in this together. Have deeper conversations. He or she might be able to help you get to the root of your problems by talking you through it. If you aren’t communicating effectively though, your partner migh never know what is going on with you and internalize that.

My friend’s boyfriend is very closed off and distant when it comes to sharing feelings with her or anyone else. His personality type is one that shuts down when things are not OK with his life. He becomes quiet and detached from her (and everyone else) so he can deal with things on his own. She says it is very difficult on her.

She always assumes he is mad at her when he asks to be left alone or is non-responsive to her physical or emotional advances. While it has become a feature of his personality that she has gotten used to, there are still days that she still finds herself internalizing his silence as her own faults. They do not communicate effectively.

This misunderstanding of how he conveys his feelings reacts with her need to feel love and affection. Instead of talking to one another, she cries silently and he quietly deals with whatever is going on in his life, leaving her out in the dark. Without improvement on this cornerstone, I am not certain of this relationship’s longevity.

Talk to each other. Get to know your partner on a deeper level. If you can have the same conversations with your mailman that you are having with your partner, chances are you haven’t opened up. You and your significant other may be talking, but you are not communicating.

Melissa Hughes
http://www.theweekender.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/web1_girltalk-8.jpg.optimal.jpgMelissa Hughes

By Melissa Hughes

For Weekender

Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live and WBRE.