Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching and with that comes the inevitable heavy flow of new engagements. Girls all over Facebook will be doing the hand pose to show off their new ring.
But, what if the ring isn’t good?
Does it really matter as long as there is love behind it?
I took a recent poll on Facebook asking the ladies: If you know that your partner can afford a nice ring, hypothetically $3,000 in worth (just a point of reference) but instead buys you a $500 ring would you feel undervalued?
The responses were all across the board. Many girls said they would be happy with any ring if there was a previous discussion regarding the price and size of the ring. Some girls just aren’t into a big ring and would prefer something smaller. Other girls said they would rather he spent the money on things like bills, home repairs or the wedding. The repeated message with this group was that it wasn’t about the ring at all, it was about the love behind it.
I would like to point out that this group was the minority.
It isn’t about greed or vanity, the question raised did state the clause “if he could afford a decent ring.” That clause did raise some interesting points. One responder said that she would be fine with the $500 ring but if the guy then went out the next month and spent $1,000 on a new video game system or television that she would be hurt. She said it would make her feel like she wasn’t worth as much to him as his electronics. While he’d upgrade those types of toys, she’d still have the same ring.
Another person wrote that she would rather more money be spent on the ring than on all the little details of the wedding. The ceremony is one day, but the ring will be a lifelong reminder of their love that she has to see every day. She’d rather DIY some of the wedding details and have a ring that she knows he would be proud to say he gave her.
The other side of the coin was the girls who flat out said a big hell no to getting the cheaper ring. One woman said that she knows her worth and if she is marrying a guy and he loves her enough to know that she is the one than he should also know her personal taste and style.
Another said that a ring is a big decision and should be planned in advance, not just a spontaneous purchase with whatever money he has left in his bank account. Its about respecting your personal worth and how you value yourself. If you agree to marry someone wouldn’t you want them to hold you to that same value?
With this ring, you are being asked to join a lifelong commitment. Shouldn’t there be thought put into it?
What it comes down to is the girl and her personal tastes.
Guys, when you go out and buy that ring, think about the finger you’ll be putting it on. While there are girls out there who require no ring at all, there are also girls who will not say yes to anything but Tiffany’s. Sure, there are girls across the spectrum and everywhere in between. It doesn’t make her a bad or shallow person, she just knows what she likes.
This ring is a symbol of your life together, a lifelong commitment. Take some time and thought and think about what you want that statement to say. While you can’t put a price on love, you can put some thought, savings and effort into the perfect ring.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live and WBRE.