Advice from Melissa: Don’t let a great guy be your rebound
I started seeing a new guy and he is everything I have been looking for. I am really happy but can’t seem to stop thinking about my ex. The funny thing is my relationship with my ex was so terrible and he was rotten to me. Why do I keep mentally going back there? I am afraid I am going to ruin something great by dwelling on something that wasn’t so great.
Dear hung up,
You need to do just that, hang up. Stop replaying the highlight reel and remind yourself of the behind the scenes action. You justified the break up, remind yourself why it was valid. The new guy deserves more respect than for you to constantly be thinking about the ex. If you are truly not over him yet, maybe you should put the brakes on a new relationship. Don’t let a great guy be your rebound. You wouldn’t want to be his. If you want to keep this new guy, you need to focus on the things you like about him, not the things you miss about your ex. Remember that he is an ex for a reason and you can never move forward with your life story by reading the same chapter twice. Go write your new adventure.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, and a radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.