It is no secret that in life we are all guilty of making mistakes. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things do not work out. Is starting over and giving second chances always an option? What happens when your second chance becomes a third, seventh and 20th? Are you just being a doormat or a pushover at some point? They say the best gift you can give to another person is a second chance, but how many is too many?
For me, when it comes to second chances, I always believe in giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Often in times a second chance will kick start things into something greater. Perhaps that second chance will be an eye opener to the other person who didn’t realize what they were missing the first time. They can use the second chance to make things better. People are capable of learning from their mistakes.
When giving out second chances, you need to ask yourself if the punishment fits the crime. Did the other party do something that you can forgive or is there always going to be animosity? You need to consider the depth of your relationship with the person as well. Often times we are very quick to forgive and forget when it is someone that we hold in our hearts. For me at least, I always try looking for the best in someone. The old quote says fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice and shame on me. I admit to being fooled a time or two. Sometimes I will look back and kick myself for it and other times when looking at the big picture, I would not have done anything different. You can’t beat yourself up over someone else’s flaws.
Everyone’s past is riddled with their own issues. Sometimes there are hidden reasons why people act the way they do. If you genuinely care for someone, try to not be so cut and dry about their place in your life. Often enough their behavior is an extension of a deeper problem. If they really matter that much to you, give them that second chance to make things right. Perhaps their capacity to cope with things is more outward than yours and they accidentally take it out on you. Give them the chance to explain before completely writing them off all together. Know your own level of investment in that person. Are you involved emotionally enough to continue giving chance after chance?
Take a look at the big picture. What is important to you? For me, I value honesty, fidelity, love and loyalty. Somethings I can forgive while others I cannot. If I find you worthy of a second chance, don’t let me down. I do believe in second chances, I just don’t believe everyone deserves them. If you are lucky enough to get one from someone you love, don’t take it for granted and learn from your mistakes.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, and a radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.