When people fall hopelessly in love, they tend to see the world through rose-colored glasses. That can make it hard to see the world around you has fallen apart and that things are over. Breaking up is never a pleasant thing to do, especially when you are emotionally invested. Relationship are not like coffee; they are rarely good till the last drop. Look at your own cup, does it runneth over or has it gone cold? How can you tell when it’s really over?
If you find yourself sad more days than you are happy, it might be time to let go. You have tried your hardest and put everything you have into this relationship, but in the end you might find that it just doesn’t work. No one wants to admit it when their relationship has failed. It can be embarrassing to admit defeat on top of all of the other emotions running through your mind at that moment. Maybe you are putting up a good front. You have spent so much time covering up the bad parts to the public, on Facebook you look like the happiest couple ever, but are you being honest with yourself about how happy you actually are?
Do you find yourself coming up with constant justifications for your partner’s behavior? If so, you might be grasping at straws. If they can’t respect you enough to be a reliable part of your life, it’s time to cut them free. You deserve better. You deserve someone who is going to be there when they say they will and you shouldn’t have to lie or make up excuses for their absence. You will only end up hurting yourself if you continue to invest your time and emotions into what has become a one-sided relationship.
No one wants to be the bad guy, the one who finally says it’s over. Maybe you just aren’t a quitter and you have convinced yourself there is still good in it, but you need to take a step back and look at the big picture. Is your partner doing things to drive you away without actually saying it. Breaking up is hard to do, even when it’s clearly the right thing to do.
Has your partner become distant? Are the conversations lagging? These are some telltale signs that a break up might be looming. You used to talk to each other about everything and have endless conversations about the silliest things but now you find that every conversation ends up in an argument. You used to text back and forth constantly, now you find its taking hours to receive a response to a text that’s barely three words long. This might be your partner’s way of showing you that they have lost interest in you without actually saying it. You used to be the star of the game but now you are sitting the bench.
Were you always a “we” that has more recently become a “me?” if you find yourself spending more time alone, your partner may have checked out. It’s fine to have some alone time, but if you were spending everyday together and now it’s only a couple of brief encounters a month, it is clear that the other party has lost interest in hanging out. Be honest with yourself, it is one thing to have some alone time, it’s another to just feel alone.
Be honest with yourself. Trust your intuition. No one wants to be the one to walk away when things used to be so good. We find ourselves mentally reliving the highlight reel of our relationship and relishing the good days, but you have to look behind the scenes to the nitty gritty. You only get this one life, spend it with someone who wants to make it better. You deserve the best and when things aren’t making you happy anymore, let them go. You will find happiness again.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, and a radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.