The saying goes “the truth will set you free.”
If this is the case, why is it so easy for people to lie to the person they are in a relationship with? At its foundation, trust is the cornerstone of every lasting relationship. If honesty is the best policy, why are there so many liars trying to break down your castle walls and audition for the role of Prince Charming?
People lie.
This is a fact of life we all must face as we grow up. Sometimes, it is because they are afraid of the pain the truth might cause the other person. Other times, it is because they are trying to cover up something terrible they did and aren’t willing to own up to. Still, there are times that people lie for no real reason at all.
Once upon a time, a very long time ago, I was seeing a guy who was a pathological liar. In the beginning, I always gave him the benefit of the doubt; maybe his life really was as crazy as he told me it was. As the relationship progressed, the lies became so bad that they were downright laughable. I continued dating him for my own sheer amusement to find out what he would say next. This, my friends is toxic behavior. I don’t ever recommend dating anyone for research. Since this column is all about telling the truth, I will admit that he was my dating lab rat (but only after giving him countless opportunities to just be an honest person!)
The straw that broke the camel’s back was during my birthday week. My friends had all made plans for a big birthday celebration, my 20s were roaring. He volunteered himself to bring the cake and even said he knew a bunch of musicians and would be taking care of the entertainment for the night. Knowing about my lab experiment, my friends took care of these details themselves. We just didn’t tell him that.
The party started and two hours into it he was still not there. He never came. Rule No. 1, never promise a woman baked goods in her honor and not follow through on it.
So I called him the next day to get his story. His response took the proverbial cake. I think he really missed his calling as a fictional novelist. He claimed he missed the party because his dear aunt passed away and his family was so overcome with grief they had to have the funeral that night, at 10:30 pm.
He then accused me of being heartless and insincere for not offering my condolences for his sudden loss. Perhaps it was my outburst of laughter; I could no longer contain myself.
It was at this point the charade was over (Side note: there was no dead aunt, but there was another girl in the background).
I couldn’t put either one of us through any more testing. I deserved better and he deserved a therapist. I wasn’t being honest with myself about the kind of person I should be with and this experiment had gone on long enough. They say the truth will set you free. For this Prince Charmingless, the lies set him free … from our relationship.
