In our adult lives, we are all searching for “the one.” Growing up, all of those fairy tales told us that the princess meets her prince charming and the next day they get married, no questions asked and they live happily ever after. In real life, this only happens in Las Vegas. How do you know this person you decide to marry someday is your one?
After years of countless bad dates and broken relationships, what makes a person so sure they finally found the one person they want to spend the rest of their lives with? As an unmarried lady, I could not professionally speak to this (although I am pretty certain I have finally met the one and am en route to my own happily ever after!) so I decided to ask the married folk. What made you decide to take the plunge and how are you so certain this person is the one for you?
I found in my research that a lot of the same answers resonated throughout the 15 couples polled for this. It seems the key to a happy marriage is to marry your best friend. Anytime that something happens in your life, whether it is something funny or serious or just any random news that you come across throughout the day, that person is the first person you want to run and talk to. You share everything and build a life of love on the foundation of that great friendship.
One person said that her now husband was her best friend since they were children. Growing up she always compared everyone that she dated to him until finally their group of friends convinced them to try dating. They have been happily together ever since. One day she just looked at him and realized she was deeper in love than she knew possible and at that moment they both knew there was no way they wouldn’t be married.
Another reoccurring answer was that “they just knew.” It was a completely indescribable feeling of completeness around this other person. There is no outer sign from the cosmos blinking at you saying to marry this person, you just know it in your heart. There was a we just clicked connection; a feeling of safety, calmness and security in and with each other. For the first time, they were able to look at each other’s faults and not mind. There was comfort in the sweatpants and no make-up days of their lives. They work through things together and act as a team. There is growth after every set back or argument, whereas in other past relationships these fights would drive a wedge or cause animosity between them.
Some of them have even had other long term relationships, even engagements, which just didn’t feel right. One woman actually said that she knew in her gut she’d regret marrying guy No. 1 and ultimately decided not to after a 13-year engagement because that spark just wasn’t there. When she met the man she did marry, she knew right away that not marrying him wasn’t an option. It was a natural, inexplicable draw to each other.
Every day, these couples are finding new ways to love and appreciate and grow with each other. They are supportive through the good times and bad. They can discuss things and work through the problems together on a united front. They depend on the other to be there. The connection is inexplicable and their unanimous final answer was that when they met that other person, the proverbial one, they just knew.
I am happy to report that right now in my life, I too, just know. Is this my happily ever after? Stay tuned …
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, and a radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.