In a galaxy not so far away, two people find each other and decide to start dating. As a new relationship begins, you find yourself getting to know the other person on a deeper level. You may discover they are interested in things you have no clue about. They may begin making cultural references and jokes that you don’t understand, which can lead to a strain on the relationship. When it comes to your new relationship, how strong is The Force with this one? Is he the Luke to your Leia (minus the whole sibling part)? If you are not into the “geek culture,” how can you ever love a fan boy?
When getting into my current relationship, I learned that my beloved and I had very different interests. He was more “Game of Thrones” and Zelda, where I was more “Sex and the City” and Netflix. How could this ever work? We had very little in common on the surface.
Me? Interested in things at which I previously turned my nose up? In the words of Count Dooku: “I sense a great fear in you Skywalker. You have hate, you have anger, but you don’t use them.”
I had no interest in getting into these things of his at all. Fear is the path to the dark side after all. It wasn’t until we got to know each other better that we began to share our differences and build bridges between our clashing ideas of fun. We sat together and watched each other’s shows. We explained why we liked certain scenes or related to the characters. We learned to find a mutual respect for each other’s quirks.
I fell deeply in love with this boy and although I never was able to fully get on board with all of his favorite things, I slept through most of “The Matrix” series and have never brought myself to sit through the 20 hours of “Avatar,” I did embrace his other interests. It certainly wasn’t one sided either, he also embraced my own breed of nerd girl culture. We can now spend a weekend together binge watching our shows, while we paint pictures together (a deep love of mine) and drink wine.
So how do you love a fan boy? You need to embrace your inner fan girl and let go of the preconceived notion of what you thought these things might be. I never thought I would be interested in “Game of Thrones,” it seemed excessively violent and manly, but now it’s one of my favorite shows. I am forever grateful he shared his passion with me and that it is something we can enjoy together.
It is important that we each still have our own passions, but being able to bridge our loves together has brought us closer. Those surface ideas that I had about things never being compatible, turns out were just new interests that I hadn’t yet discovered. So give your partner’s interests a chance. You may find out that you are more alike that you ever imagined possible.
May The Force be with you.
Melissa Hughes is a 30-year-old single mother of one. Girl Talk started as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa has a weekly TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, discussing activities in Weekender and a Girl Talk radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.