Last week, a child schooled her teacher on the finer points of “girl code” when she answered a word problem by saying that it is wrong to date your friend’s ex-boyfriend. First off, I would love to give kudos to this mom for prepping your daughter for what is ahead of her as she gets older. If more women followed girl code, the world would be a less dramatic place to live.
So what is girl code? These are the unspoken rules of life’s road. Do you obey them, or are you a code breaker?
1. Friend’s exes (or family’s for that matter) are off limits unless you have their consent. Even if they give it, be sure to seriously consider the fall out of what may potentially happen if you turn your best friend’s once upon a time into your happily ever after. It could get messy, is he really worth it?
2. If your friend is in a fight with other girls, stand by her. If you can legitimately say your girl has been wronged and you seem to side with the other party, you may want to prepare to hand in your friend card.
3. If your friend gets dumped and is heartbroken and depressed. Be there for her. If you would want someone there for you in that situation, chances are they do too but might be afraid to ask. Be the friend who shows up with a bottle of wine, a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a box of Kleenex. Those friends are the ones who last.
4. When your friend asks how they look in an outfit. Be honest. You all want to look on point when your entourage hits the street and if she is questioning her outfit right out of the gate she may spend all night second guessing how she looks. Pictures will likely happen, make sure you’re all looking like the 10s that you are.
5. If you are out and see a girl (even if you don’t know her) getting some unwanted attention from a guy, save her. Adopt her into your group until the coast is clear. We all know the look of the distress call.
6. If you see a girl who has had too much to drink, keep an eye on her. It could happen to any of us and the life you save tonight could be the life that saves you next weekend.
7. If a stranger asks you for a tampon, give her one. Also in a public bathroom setting, always give a stranger a heads up if there is a gross toilet or no toilet paper situation occurring.
8. Build each other up. We all are in this fight together and the more we celebrate each other’s successes, the more glass ceilings we can shatter as one united front. Don’t forget how good compliments feel so give out as many as you can.
9. Sometimes your girlfriends just need to vent about the stupid thing her boyfriend did. Let her vent, but don’t form a verbal opinion about him. They will likely still be together once the fight is over and you don’t want to be the friend that called her honey bunch an asshole.
10. If you see your friend’s boyfriend acting shady or possibly cheating, tell her. Even if you are totally wrong, its better she is informed than blindsided. Any girl who has ever been cheated on can relate.
Melissa Hughes is a 30-year-old single mother of one. Girl Talk started as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa has a weekly TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, discussing activities in Weekender and a Girl Talk radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.