We all go through countless numbers of life-lesson moments. We grow from our scars. We learn our own likes and dislikes and find out that every heartbreak, no matter how painful it was at the time, can be painted with a silver lining if you can convince yourself you learned something from the experience.
In life and in love, the truth is that you never forget your firsts.
Think back to your first crush. Do you remember the butterflies? Do you remember how exciting it was to pass them in the hall, lock eyes for a moment, smile (oh that smile, it might still give you the warm and fuzzies as you remember it). That first crush was probably your most honest and sincere foray into love. You threw yourself in with an open heart and open arms because you had no idea how much love could hurt. This wasn’t about sex. This was just honest adoration and chemistry. It was innocent and natural.
Your first date, how many outfits did you try on trying to look absolutely perfect? How nervous were you? I remember mine: I was 15 and wore a black sun dress and a candy necklace. I remember it was the middle of July and I was such a ball of nerves that I was sweating profusely. I remember going to the bathroom mid date to check my hair and seeing a huge multicolor powder ring around my neck from the candy. I was mortified at the time, but we ended up dating for 3 months and when you’re 15 even Taylor Swift will tell you that was a fairly significant relationship.
What about your first love? Love was so magical then. Suddenly, your life gave you the tingles. You woke up each day happy and excited. There is not a single drug on the market that can give you a greater high than the feeling of being deeply in love. You can probably still remember the long car drives and late night conversations. I remember sitting on the phone for five to six hours at a time. Did anyone have that much to talk about?
Finally, you never forget your first heartbreak. That moment when it feels like the entire world around you just fell apart. You didn’t know it was possible to feel so much pain or cry so many tears. How did you get there? What happened to the butterflies? It feels like the air was physically knocked out of your lungs. You reminisce about those golden days of the past and long to be the person or people you were in the beginning. You learn the hard way how to rebuild yourself up and bounce back because you have no other choice.
There truly is a strange magic with love. No matter how many times in the past it has burned us, we keep going back for more. That is truly the wonder of love, it knocks you down but you find the strength to keep giving yourself new firsts.
I hope you find the person who will be your last first and that you share a lifetime of firsts together.
Melissa Hughes is a 30-year-old single mother of one. Girl Talk started as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa has a weekly TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, discussing activities in Weekender and a Girl Talk radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.