What about your friends?

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First Posted: 10/27/2014

Growing up, we go through different cycles of friends. It is said that if you can maintain a friendship for more than seven adult years, that those people will be your true friends for life. As we mature into adulthood, we start to realize who is in your life for the right reasons and who is there with their own agenda. The real trick to lifelong friendship is being your own gardener and weeding out the dandelions from your rose bush.

Just recently, I went out on a lunch date with one of my best friends since high school. We have the kind of relationship that we can go months without talking but pick up as if a day hadn’t gone by since we were skipping class and blasting Britney Spears. It made me grateful for having such deep rooted relationships and opened my eyes to some of the other relationships I have been keeping and have also lost over the years.

So here is my #WeArentFriendsAnymoreBecause revelation, my own Weekend(er) Hashtag Project to air out my dirty laundry on friendships gone by.

#WeArentFriendsAnymoreBecause you slept with my boyfriend. This one is pretty cut and dry and really requires no further explanation.

#WeArentFriendsAnymoreBecause of attachment parenting. I had a friend who was very into attachment parenting. As a mom, I can understand wanting to have a special bond with your child. When it gets to the point that we are having a playdate at Kirby Park and your 5 year old comes up to you to publicly breast feed, I stopped going on playdates. It was just a bit much for me and made me see that we have really grown in different directions.

#WeArentFriendsAnymoreBecause you picked misters over sisters. Certainly, there is a level of expectation that when a friend gets into a relationship they will want to spend time with their new plaything, but when you allow him to completely brain wash you into not talking to any of your friends anymore, it’s hard to be friends when we aren’t allowed.

#WeArentFriendsAnymoreBecause we grew into different people. The things we once had in common just aren’t there anymore and we quite literally have nothing to talk about.

#WeArentFriendsAnymoreBecause I was only good to you when you could benefit from it. Oh, I have extra concert tickets or an open tab at the bar, certainly we will hang out. I have a problem and need a friend to talk to and you can’t be bothered? Sorry, I am too old for one sided friendships.

#WeArentFriendsAnymoreBecause we are frienemies. We never really liked each other, yet tolerated and competed over everything. I don’t have time in my life for friends who are anything but friendly.

So I encourage you to take a good look at the friendships you have presently in your life. Are these people sincere? Are they only your friends when there is a good time involved or will they really be there when you need them? The saying is very true when it comes to friendships; I will take 4 quarters over 100 pennies any day. You will not find any dandelions in my friendship garden.