Your fantasy football team sucks

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First Posted: 10/14/2014

Look, if you are Fantasy Football fanatics, then start acting like it.

We are waiting for you to send us information on your team, your league, your Fantasy philosophies — anything — so we can tell the world just how innovative and brilliant you are.

But there is a problem.

You ain’t listening and you ain’t responding.

So what can we do to get you to inform us of what’s going on in your Fantasy leagues?

We know you are out there — there are hundreds of Fantasy leagues operating throughout NEPA. So what will it take to get you to send us an email about your league?

I can tell you that I am in four leagues and for the most part, I am doing lousy in each. I am in contention in one down in old Shawnee, the center of the universe, Plymouth, PA. But my team is marginal at best.

It’s a quarterback-dominated league and I have two awesome QBs — on paper. Aaron Rodgers and Philip Rivers ain’t too bad, but Rodgers got off to a slow start. I am hot lately, thanks to these two, but I’m in a tough division, so the season could be difficult.

In another Plymouth league, I thought I had a great team — again on paper. Led by QB Drew Brees, but I am near the bottom. Can’t figure this one out. I score points, but always seem to get out-scored.

Now the newsroom league is over for me. I have Peyton Manning, but I am 1-5 on the year. Besides, it’s a stupid league and I really don’t care if I win or lose. I’ve been trying to unload my good players, but these guys offer ridiculous deals that must be turned down.

Now the Neighborhood Franchise Football League — in its 33rd year (I think) is very simple: 6 points for a touchdown scored, 3 points for a TD thrown, 3 points for a field goal and 1 point of an extra point. No defenses to muddy the waters. No yardage to calculate. Stupid is what stupid is.

I am in the middle of the field with what I thought was the best team drafted and I had 12th pick in three of the first five rounds.

But as usually happens, you score 40 point and your opponent scores 50. More than coincidental, me thinks.

But the point is, it is fun. We bust each other’s cannolis all the time. At every possible opportunity, we make fun of each other. It’s what Fantasy Football is supposed to be.

The Plymouth league meets every Wednesday to make changes. It’s a great time that is filled with constant banter that question the intelligence of each member.

We laugh a lot. We enjoy each other. We never take the banter or each other or ourselves seriously.

We go about our business of running our teams and we are ridiculed constantly and never credited with doing anything correct even if we do, which isn’t often.

Do you get what I mean?

Are you listening?

Then how about responding?

How about telling us about what your team and league are doing?

Tell us those inside stories of stupidity that only you can tell about only your league.

We really want to know. We may even feature your league and come and take a photo of your group.

Now wouldn’t that be something?

We think so. Why don’t you?

Now go set your lineups and take some time to write in. Keep those cards and letters coming. Err, make that start those cards and letters coming.

That’s my Fantasy this week.