Let’s get real:

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First Posted: 10/13/2014

Dear Melissa,

I have started dating this guy who has a reputation for being a player and a cheat. He is very sweet and romantic and I find myself falling for him. All of my friends are constantly reminding me of his reputation but I think he is really different with me. What do I do?

Confused in Carbondale.

Dear Carbondale,

This is a tricky one. For me, I know how much you always want to give your guy the benefit of the doubt. I am a firm believer that people can change. The old saying goes “once a cheater, always a cheater.” I don’t honestly believe that. People do have the ability to grow up over time and if they find the right person, are capable of settling down if that is what they truly want to do.

HOWEVER

You need to protect yourself. Look a little into this guy’s past, most recent relationships before you start drawing hearts and writing your first name and his last name. Did he cheat on his most recent girlfriend? Was it with you? How long ago was that last relationship?

I am not saying to dump the guy. I know how magical the “in lust” stage is, but proceed with caution. Enjoy the butterflies but don’t tie your heart to their wings. Our friends see things that we don’t when we are blinded by love. If they are telling you to put on the brakes, chances are it’s because they know there is a sign for ice on the road ahead.

-Melissa

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