First Posted: 7/16/2014
There are certain rites of passage that every girl will go through at some point in her twenties. We have all debated pushing off the electric bill so we can afford to go out with friends, gone home with a guy that we’d probably kick our own asses for, and have at some point suffered through the personal hell of a pregnancy scare. The only thing worse than getting your period, is not getting your period.)]
It happens; you get so caught up in the heat of the moment that you forget to take precautions. Your mind starts racing and the life-altering thoughts begin.
Can I afford a baby? How did I let this happen? Is this guy father material? My life is over.
I have been there. When a fling turned into a night of irresponsibility, I awoke the next day realizing the mistake I made. For the next week, I mentally tortured myself with overthinking everything I was feeling. My stomach gurgled – was that a baby? I think I’m nauseous – it’s probably morning sickness. When was my last period? When am I due for my next one? Am I late? Is this a craving? Is this a cramp? Please God let me have cramps.
When two weeks had gone by with unanswered prayers, I decided to go buy a test. I felt like everyone could read my mind as I walked into CVS at the Wyoming Valley Mall and crept into the pregnancy test aisle. Why are these so expensive? Is the generic brand just as good? Seriously Melissa, this is probably the one time in your life you shouldn’t look for a sale. Pick one, and run.
I didn’t even want to wait until I got home to do it. It would be the longest car ride of my life. I left the store and walked down the long, poorly lit “For maintenance use only” hallway. I knew that the bathroom was at the end and I would have my salvation. As I opened the door, I had second thoughts. Do I really want to find out I am having a baby in the middle of a food court? So I decided to wait.
I drove home, ran to the bathroom, took a deep breath and mentally prepared for whatever was about to happen. Finally, there it was, like a sneaky phantom in the night: my period. I exhaled a huge sigh of relief and then cursed silently for it not coming an hour earlier and saving me $20.
I know I am not ready to have another child right now and, in that moment, I took a personal vow to start thinking with my head instead of my hormones.