Can he see your true colors?

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First Posted: 12/2/2014

Dear Melissa,

I have been seeing this guy for a while and I have started spending nights at his house. I couldn’t help but notice that a lot of his ex-girlfriend’s stuff is still boxed up and lingering around the house. They broke up a year ago and she has since moved into her own apartment. She hasn’t picked up these items because she says she has no space, but he said he would feel bad about tossing them out because there are pictures of her family and home decorations and other things that he knows she would be sentimental and upset about if he got rid of them. It makes me feel like he won’t give her up and it really bothers me. What do I do?


Dear Boxed in Babe,

You need to let your guy know that he is not a storage unit and is certainly not getting paid to keep her stuff around. It’s not his responsibility to store her stuff and it’s clearly making an impact on your relationship if her lingering memories are crowding your new playground. I would let your guy know this bugs you and suggest giving the ex a deadline. If her stuff isn’t out by that set date- which she is aware of- then its ok for him to toss it without her getting upset. It has been a year since they broke up and if this is some attempt to stay in his life, or she is just a lazy girl, it’s not his problem and he needs to get rid of her stuff, regardless how it will make her feel. She needs to be responsible for her own stuff. If he feels bad about throwing it away, he can drop it on her door and then it’s up to her to figure out what to do with it. He won’t be able to move on with his life with you if he can’t fully get rid of her.