“Custer’s Revenge” takes one more stand

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First Posted: 3/27/2015

There are a ton of HD remakes these days but none are as great as the remastered version of one of the most iconic games of the Atari 2600 era “Custer’s Revenge.” Most Atari games had little to no story, and, there were mostly squares flying around the screen.

Custer’s Revenge is one of the first games to feature characters who looked like actual people. The gameplay was very limited but the subject matter is what made this game unforgettable.

The story of “Custer’s Revenge” is a classic one: Man loves woman. He loves her so much that he has to brave a field of falling arrows, while completely naked, to reach a Native American woman on the other side of the screen who is tied to a cactus. When you reach your goal, you don’t do the logical thing like untie her, you just have intercourse with her. Accomplishing this goal raises your points meter and it’s the whole point of the game.

In “Custer’s Revenge: Remastered ” the game mode is expanded, so if you raise enough points you earn stars which can be used to buy clothing and other customizing options. For completionists, this really does raise the replay value of the game dramatically.

It’s about time this 32-year-old masterpiece with beautifully remastered HD graphics and incredibly realistic sounds hit shelves. All of the graphics look hand drawn like they are straight out of a comic book and all of the music and sound effects sound like they are straight from a big budget blockbuster movie.

The good thing about “Custer’s Revenge: Remastered” is that it’s not just a graphic overhaul, it also has several new game modes and customization options to choose from. In the original, your character just wore a cowboy hat and boots but now there are lots of new clothing options to choose from.

Some new options include a ball gag, chaps or a fun clown suit. The customization doesn’t stop there. Custer’s lady friend has several clothing options like a French maid, a school girl or a cheerleader. Not only can you change her outfits, you can also customize the look of your lady companion. There are several dwarf options, body measurements and even skin color so now she can be any race you want.

The first new game mode is inspired by the popular “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Instead of the traditional desert setting, it is now in a “dungeon” and Custer is now a billionaire so the story is super romantic. It’s also widely accepted by the BDSM community. Another new option is very empowering for women because you can reverse roles. Now the lady can be the hero and brave all the flying obstacles to reach the man.

There is an important special feature for when children come into the room. With a single button press, you can switch it to kid friendly mode where you don’t do the vertical mambo; you just do the actual mambo. The characters dance on the side of the screen.

Overall “Custer’s Revenge: Remastered” is everything you could want in a remake of an Atari classic with enhanced graphics, some great new game modes and the addition of online multiplayer. If you love retro games, I am sure you remember Custer fondly and the remastered version is a must buy. For newcomers, you will find some great gameplay innovations that will leave a lasting impression for years to come.