Let’s get real: When does getting along cross the line?

Print This Page

First Posted: 4/20/2015

Dear Melissa,

I was with my ex-boyfriend for several years. It resulted in a child, who we both love and adore very much. Over the years, he became very close with my family. We split up about a year ago but stay amicable for our child’s sake. My mother insists on still inviting him to all family functions, holiday meals, cook outs, parties, because his family is not in the area. The last two events he brought his new girlfriend with him. It makes me uncomfortable because it’s my family and I feel like the odd man out. I have tried asking my mother to stop with the invites, but she refuses to listen. His new girlfriend has no qualms about coming right in and acting like she belongs there and my family seems to have welcomed her with open arms. Maybe I am bitter, but I just want the two of them to stop coming. I feel like my family doesn’t think about how I feel in this situation and it just makes me uncomfortable. What do I do?

Odd Woman Out

Dear Odd Woman Out,

I applaud you and your ex for keeping things civil on behalf of your child. That takes great levels of maturity and should be an example for anyone in your situation. If you two have such a good relationship, can you try talking to him about how you are feeling. It sounds like your mom is just being nice and courteous and is not going to budge, regardless of how you feel, but you should never feel alienated around your own family. They are the ones you should always feel comfortable around. Good luck!