Friend or foe

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First Posted: 1/13/2015

Chalk it up to years spent watching South Park, but when I think of friends and foe, this comes to mind: “I’m not your friend, buddy. I’m not your buddy, guy. I’m not your guy, friend.” It seems model turned writer, Courtney Robertson, knows that sketch all too well. After all, Robertson’s debut memoir, “I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain” is just that — a behind the scenes look into the reality of attempting to find love and lasting friendships once the camera stops rolling and starts getting real. Wait, wrong reality show.

Now, excusing the fact that reality television has never been my forte, Robertson, who I failed to identify until this book landed in my hands, is best known for modeling and her stint on “The Bachelor, Season 16.” In case you were someone like myself who did not follow the show, Robertson won. Though, after reading her memoir, winning might be a debatable. The book, which moves back and forth from Robertson’s childhood memories to the nitty-gritty of what really transpired between her and bachelor, Ben Flajnik, is done with ease.

The book in many ways, reflects a different side of Robertson that viewers did not see —an insecure, slightly anxiety-ridden woman with a penchant for immature bathroom talk and family. Some of the better, more humorous chapters include: “Catwalking & Starfucking,” “Whine & Roses,” “Engaged and Dating,” and “Paps & a Smear Campaign”. In the latter, Robertson discusses the end of the relationship with Flajnik, noting their post Valentine’s conversation: “I finished the bottle of wine, so incredibly pissed off. And then I finally stopped crying. I was over Ben Flajnik and his bullshit. […] And we were officially broken up. All that was left to do was watch ourselves fall in love and get engaged on TV.”

Robertson never claims to be anything that she is not — a self-claimed late bloomer, she details her failures but in return, gains a special talent as a result — humor. The book itself is conversational and a breeze to read. Unpretentious as she is self-deprecating, Robertson becomes that beautiful woman with a tact for wry and wit. The book is not without the usual namedropping, but it is also to be expected given Robertson’s success as perhaps one of the most villainous contestants on The Bachelor. Love or hate her, Robertson may not have won the man of her dreams, but she is winning in life.