Let’s get real: Faking a pregnancy is the best way to keep a man

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First Posted: 3/30/2015

Dear Melissa,

My boyfriend said he was going to leave me. I can’t bear to be without him, so I figured if I could convince him I’m pregnant he would stay with me. I bought a positive pregnancy test online. It has been a few weeks and now he is starting to ask questions. He doesn’t seem to believe me and thinks that I’m lying. How do I continue to make him believe I am with child?

Locked down

Dear Locked and Loaded,

Make sure that you begin eating lots of junk food. You need to gain baby weight and start showing the bump. If he tells you that he wants to go to doctor’s appointments with you, tell him the only time the doctor could see you were during the same times that you know he can’t make them. If he says that he’ll reschedule his plans, make sure you get really emotional, show him those hormones are kicking in.

Eventually though, you will need to either get prego for real or fake a miscarriage. Good luck with whatever you choose!